Drafting
Guys over 60
----this is
so Funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier----
New
Direction for any war: Send Service
Vet s over 60!
I am
over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've
got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending18-year olds
off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be
able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For
starters:
Researchers
say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only
think about sex a couple of times a day,leaving us more than 28,000
additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young
guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back
hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and
maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will
make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An
18-year-old doesn't even like toget up before 10 a.m. Old guys always
get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm
tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up
killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If
captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put
them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
brainteaser.
Boot
camp would be easier for old guys. We 're used to gett ing
screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also
developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as
an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They
could lighten upon the obstacle course however. I've been in
combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the
side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually,
the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen
anyone out run a bullet.
An
18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still
hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes,
not the back of his head.
These
are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more
about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us
old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists.The last thing
an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts
with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are
already behind them.
If
nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured
the first night!
Share
this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they
can read it.